The second word which defines me is nice. I have been a nice person since my childhood. The definition of nice includes the classical definition, which is someone hesitant to say no, but there is more to it. One of my well-wishers once advised me to stop being nice and start learning to say no. It was hard for me to know this art. As time did its job, this quality of mine grew stronger.
When I like someone, I would do anything to make them happy. If they like painting, I would start painting for them; if they like sports, I would begin to watch sports for them. It was hard to be myself when I was with someone whom I liked. I liked people on the basis of our common interests, or to say, I tried to find common interests between me and the person I liked. And that would lead me to nothing.
I have heard this sentence a lot in my life: “Shyam, you are a nice person. But I can’t date you.” If one girl says this, it could be a matter of choice, but if many girls say this, it has to mean something different. It could mean two things: either girls don’t date nice people, or I am not nice, and they are lying. For the sake of vanity and the assumption that people mean what they say, I would like to argue in favor of the first conclusion.
“And that’s the thing about people who mean everything they say. They think everyone else does too”
~Khalid Hosseini, The Kite Runner
Girls don’t date nice people. They will choose to date toxic, over-possessive, and short-tempered boys. So that they can blame all the boys after they hit the realization. I have seen this a lot in my life. In my friend circle, nice people are single, but the playboy types have got dates. I know some boys who drink and smoke regularly and don’t have any stand-out personalities having girlfriend(s). And people like me, who don’t drink and smoke and have something like this blog to show off, are single.
Boys who comment on every passing girl on the road eventually hit someone, and the girl genuinely falls in love with them. In contrast, they don’t give a shit about the girl. I have seen those boys, too. I have friends who will talk to many girls simultaneously and flirt with them, and the girls find them attractive. Boys like these don’t even think of love, relationships, and marriage in the same sentence. And still, they are valued by the girls. Maybe girls, too, don’t associate love with relationships and marriage.
On the other hand, there are people like me. I don’t enjoy sitting on the roadside staring and commenting at passing girls. I respect their choices and believe in the involvement of females, what else and what not. I have read books written by women, and I value their role in society. What else and what is not included in my philosophy? If you are keen to know more, you should read this article. And still, girls don’t find me attractive.
After seeing all these, I wonder what the point of having all these skills is if no one values them. What’s the point of stacking books on my shelf if no one will be impressed? After all, the art of ‘setting’ a girl up lies in intentional flirting. So why don’t I stop learning these skills and adopt a chhapri lifestyle? I color my hair green on one side and yellow on the other and start making reels. Why am I wasting my time writing this blog if no one reads this? An average chappari has more girlfriends/exes than I have (zero).
Well, I might color my hair and start making Instagram reels, but I will not stop writing this blog. I have come too far to stop now. I don’t write this blog to impress girls, but rather, I write this blog to collect my ideas in a presentable way. I write for myself.
Given the choice between the boy best friend, who always cares for her, who always stands with her in difficult times, and who always wants nothing but success for her and the hot guy in next class about whom she knows absolutely nothing, a girl will definitely go with the second choice.
(I want to assert here that girls only date rich and hot boys, not particularly having good intentions. But my female audience would take it as girls only date for money and body, and put a label of narrowmindedness on my forehead. I can see a difference between these two statements, but I won’t risk my life for it.)
Well, first, it’s their choice. In this free country, we should not have any problem with people’s choices. Second, not all girls are the same; we should not generalize. And finally, I should pay attention to the second conclusion deducted above, which says that I am not a nice person. If no girl likes me, that could mean something is wrong with me. Obviously, they are not going to say it to me because that would be rude. I will expand on these ideas in the next three episodes of the series.
Happy Purpose Day. (I am already hating the final part!) Have a good day.